Notice: This entry was published 4 years ago and may no longer reflect my views today.
For International Women’s Day, I’m participating in the #DearMe campaign. Many thanks to the lovely Kya for this idea! I’m writing this letter to my 19-year-old self, before I made an avalanche of terrible dating decisions in my early 20s.
Greetings from the future! Believe it or not, you made it! I know it doesn’t feel that way now. You feel lost, and you don’t know where your life is headed. It’s okay to feel that way. You have plenty of time to figure yourself out. You’re only (ONLY!!!) 19, and you don’t have to know everything yet. No one does at that age. Take it a day at a time, because in less that ten years, your life will be totally different from what you imagined. But before I get to that, first I have to tell you…
YOU. LOOK. FINE. There is nothing wrong with you. Stop listening to your douchebag boyfriend when he makes fun of your body. A guy who loves you will accept you just the way you are and will make you feel beautiful no matter what. In fact, dump his ass right this second and say yes to the really hot guy who will be asking you out in Chemistry Lab.
Please stay far, far away from guys who only want to get into your pants. I know you know this, but you’re gonna think you can handle a no-strings attached arrangement. But you will feel used, and it’s not gonna make him love you. You don’t need a guy’s attention to be worthwhile.
And stop being so freaking desperate. You’re going to meet your future husband in junior year. Just be patient.
Spend lots of time with your family. Tell Dad how much you love him, and go watch an episode of Deadwood with him. It won’t be long before he finds a lump on his side and just like that, he’s gone.
The next few years will be difficult. For you, your sister, and Mom. You’re going to feel angry and hopeless. But don’t give up on them, and don’t give up on yourself. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And it’s right here, right now. At 26 years old, your life has fallen to place, and everything will be okay.
Remember when you’d play “Irreplaceable” by Beyonce over and over? That’s gonna be reality, girl. You’re gonna have your own career, making your own money, having things under your name. You’re gonna have a man who loves you with all his heart, and you’ll feel the same, but you can be okay without him too. You’re gonna be a fierce, independent woman like you always wanted to be. It’s gonna be awesome.
Life doesn’t always turn out the way we planned. That’s okay. Things will get better, I promise. So hang in there! The best is yet to come.
Your older, wiser, sexier self