Notice: This entry was published 4 years ago and may no longer reflect my views today.
Last night, my grandfather passed away. He died peacefully and comfortably at my aunt’s home in Texas. He’d been sick for a while. I thought I was ready for it. I kept rationalizing that it was his time. He had a long life, survived by five children and six grandchildren, but I still felt upset when I heard the news. I’ve experience a lot of loss in my life, and it never gets easier. It’s always a grim reminder that life never stays the same for long.
I’m flying to Houston this coming weekend for a short service for him and to see my family. I’ve been receiving a lot of messages from my friends and some people at Tumblr and Twitter. Thank you very much for your thoughts. I feel a lot better now that I’ve had some sleep. I still feel a little sad, but my family and I have chosen to focus on celebrating his life.
My grandpa, who I called Daddylo, was a very hardworking man. He owned a motor rewinding shop in my hometown and worked well into his 70s. As a kid, I’d hang out at the shop after school, doing my homework on his desk. I can still smell the faint scent of grease that persistently filled the air, and I still have the shop’s phone number memorized. I’d call him from our house when I got bored and get yelled at for disturbing him.
He spent the last few months at my aunt’s home after his health started declining. My cousin said he never complained and even apologized for burdening them. That’s just like him. He was the head of our entire family for a long time, and even in his last moments, he had to make sure everyone was okay. My mom flew a few days ago to see him, and she ensured that everyone got to say their farewells and to tell him that they’ll be fine. We’re not a perfect family, but we’re healthy and we love each other. We’ll always be there for each other. I hope Daddylo got to know that in his passing.
I was able to speak to him over Viber before he passed, to tell him that I’m happy and he has nothing to worry about. He’d always ask me if I was happy with my marriage, if my husband was treating me right. I always had to reassure him that I’m doing fine. That’s just how he was, you know? He had to be sure I was okay every time I called to ask him how he was doing.
Thank you for working so hard for all of us, Daddylo. Thank you for taking care of us. Thank you for teaching me how to spell my name, for playing with me even when you were tired from work, for always making time for me. I’m proud to be your apo.